How to Break Free from Approval-Seeking and Manifest Your Goals Faster

The biggest sucker of joy is probably getting you, even if you're breaking out of the mold... even if you are living a life that's "different," and it's because of one simple practice that can literally change your life...

But ONLY if you can see it first...

Want to know what it is?

Approval-seeking.

A part of our evolutionary process, ingrained into us for thousands of years. The desire to be "accepted" or risk being pushed out of the village. See, we are hardwired to seek approval. This isn’t just a bad habit—it’s a survival mechanism. Our ancestors relied on community and acceptance to survive. If you weren’t accepted, you were cast out, left vulnerable. Fast forward to today, and that ancient need to be accepted still influences us, even when it’s not in our best interest.
Studies have shown that constantly seeking approval can actually hinder success and personal growth. According to Psychology Today, individuals who rely on external validation may experience a decline in self-esteem and struggle with authenticity, which can affect their ability to thrive in both personal and professional environments. But what if we could overcome this deep-rooted pattern by making small, deliberate changes in our daily actions?

Have you ever wanted to do big things with your life, but somehow found yourself feeling defeated before ever even starting?

Have you ever felt like you couldn’t talk about the things you really want to do, for fear that someone would criticize you or "snuff out" that spark you feel?

Have you ever stopped dead in your tracks while pursuing a dream out of fear of "looking stupid"?

Whether it’s from your parents, friends, or strangers on the internet, NO ONE likes being criticized. And in many cases, we will hide our true desires or give up on our dreams without ever trying out of the fear of not being accepted.

This is where self-sabotage comes in, keeping you stuck in the loop of perfectionism and external validation. The fear of failure or rejection can paralyze you, but what if instead of waiting for the perfect moment, you could just take imperfect action every day?

The secret to breaking free from approval-seeking and manifesting your goals faster lies in something simple yet incredibly effective.
By making this small, intentional change in your day-to-day life, you can start compounding incredible change for your life.

What does this look like?

Well, when I started to see just how much the fear of being rejected (even by people I had never met) was affecting my choices and holding me back, I started using a simple 10-second technique to power through the fear and start making REAL progress toward my goals.

WARNING: This will ONLY work if you can become aware of when you are experiencing this resistance.

I call it "The 1-2-3 F*CK-IT! Rule" and it’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like....

Right when you feel that resistance creeping up on you, like you want to give up, and the thoughts of "I’m going to look stupid," "What if no one even notices?" or "I’m not good enough for this"... BAM, "1-2-3 F*CK-IT! Rule" time!

To do this, I just notice the feeling and acknowledge it. I thank my body for doing its best to protect me and focus on the area where I feel tension. In my mind (or sometimes even out loud), I will tell my body, "You can let go of that fear; we don’t need it anymore."

Then, I take a few deep breaths and take ONE simple and quick action.

This could be sending a text, an email, submitting a resume, or posting to social media. Sometimes, I feel a big rush of adrenaline just before hitting that "send" button, but before I know it, it's done. Like ripping off a Band-Aid.

I’ve found that when you release the need for perfection and just 'do it,' you diminish resistance and start making progress toward your dreams.

By releasing the fear of failure and the desire for approval, you start to diminish the resistance that has been holding you back. Which leads to more clarity, less procrastination, and faster manifestation. Every time you take that imperfect action, no matter how small, you strengthen your muscle for taking bigger steps toward your goals.

You start to break the cycle of self-sabotage because you’re no longer waiting for the 'perfect' moment to show up. You’re showing up imperfectly, and that’s the magic that makes the difference between having an amazing life and just wanting one.

Now, it’s your turn! Start by identifying one small action you can take today that moves you closer to your goal. It doesn’t need to be perfect—just start. Whether it’s writing a sentence for your blog, reaching out to someone in your network, or recording a quick video for social media, take that first step. When you start feeling that resistance, use the "1-2-3 F*CK-IT!" technique and follow through. Trust me, the more you do it, the more momentum you’ll build.